Where we are now

It really is over, I think, as I hang up the phone.

Was that a stranger? Or the man I can't let go of?

"Looking forward to it," you responded. "Yeah. Should be interesting."
Like I'm a host - interviewing you on your latest project?
Or a girl fiddling her pony tail, making small talk after your show in the theater lobby?

I guess it is over.
I guess it really is.
I needed to hear how far we have come.
Away.
You a bit faster than I.
Definitely ahead (If not speeding away)
From our shared life, shared bed.

I guess it is over.
I am sure I knew
but ached
for anything else to be true.

I know I changed the future once. Can you ache so hard you change the present too?
 
This time machine is whirling. I'm not even sure how I got inside,
but I know I'm the one who opened the door.
Do I regret it now?
Or will I feel relief when I exit on the other end and shakes hands with my future self?

Thank you, she'll say.
Welcome to Love. Welcome to Life.

"Looking forward to it," I'll respond. "Should be interesting."

I became

I wish I did not remember
but how could I forget
you would look at me
shake your head side to side
and with just one word

"beautiful"

...I would be.

Loving you is easy

Let me tell you a thing or two about loving you

it's the easiest thing I've had to do

no effort no tries no thoughts about goodbyes

I love...         and that's all I do.

You reach out, as only you can

You touch my face, my neck, my hand

Never too much; its perfect, your touch

Try as I may, I cannot withstand 

No matter the time of day or night

You enter the room, And I excite

I'm more like a brick, than candle wick

Never wavering. I am just light.

Good Things

Playing cards in the park
Intertwining fingers on the subway.
Making each other laugh. Pure laughter.

These are the things that I love.

Attending any event with you. In a bar. At a wedding.
Gazing at you across the room.
Locking in, as I catch you gazing right back.
You noticing everything.

These are the things that I love.

Talking in bed til late
My forehead touching yours.
Mornings.

These are the things that I love.

Warming your cold hands in mine
Warming your nose
Feeling beautiful because of you.

This is love.

Fool Says - by M. Ward

hey, i ain't never met anyone like you before
i ain't never met anyone like you before
i thought all the good ones were gone
you're here to tell me i was wrong

hey, you ain't never met a fool like me before
you ain't never met a fool like me before
they told you all romantic fools had died
i'm here to tell you that they lied

- Fool Says, by M. Ward

welcome, sun

The sun burst through the window this morning. Unexpected!

I knew it would turn eventually.
This sky.

I knew it would be fine, sure.
After much
                   hoping
                   wishing
                   for a change.

Welcome, sun.
Your affable light assures me.
Finally growing unafraid to bask,
Confident in these new rays.

The warmth,
                   caressing hands on my face.
The light,
                   gently running its' fingers through my hair.

You awakened me and I woke up smiling.

Scattered

I left the house for the day
Scattering
Before you came to pack up

Our lives shattering
As you took your things. Our things. Out. Of the house.
Our home.
Scattered.

I couldn't even see you.

Out for the day
pretending
to play with friends.
And once I got the all clear, slipped back in
Pretending it was the same but knowing nothing ever ever would be.

I watched TV.
And
Eventually
Made my way into the bedroom...
Against the pillow, a huge bouquet and an I'm sorry dear Jane...?

Please. No.
Refrain.
You do not get to say I'm sorry.
You do not get to say I'm sorry.

Just run away and never stop
Run away and never stop
Scattering.

why

I wanna just ask you why
I just wanna ask you

why pretend
why make those waves
make those looks
hold me?

I just wanna ask you
why?

if the plan is to walk away
then walk
why step on me as you go
I am not even on your way
I was just a way
and now I just wanna ask you
why
you went away
before I could push you

Do you love?

"Someone once said that the moment you stop to think about whether you love someone, you've already stopped loving that person forever."

- "Julian Carax"
Shadow of the Wind

want

When I want to I hold your hand
When I want to I don’t look away
When I want to I tell you
That I want you