Still Here

You were gone.

You died. 

You were gone and died the day we cried and said goodbye

And then right there

I swear
A pair 

of your pants
Reappears
Like you are still here
Still here?

My greatest fears
revived
But how
could you be alive?

In my chest, little drummers
Beat inside

How did you get here
I made myself clear
You are dead
You died
Only I survived
What you left behind

stream of consciousness

Can't sleep
Can't stop thinking
Paper bits in my mind
On each one, written just a few lines
Crumpled up in balls on the floor of my conscience

Stream of consciousness won't stop streaming
I need a boat to paddle away
Through all of the madness, fighting with the waves
His face and words and flashes of a memory
Eyes
Swirling in the water beneath
Crashing crashing
I am crashing
I'm so tired
Turn it off, put down the paddle,
put down the pen
Stop thinking
Need to rest
Need to sleep
Can't sleep