welcome, sun

The sun burst through the window this morning. Unexpected!

I knew it would turn eventually.
This sky.

I knew it would be fine, sure.
After much
                   hoping
                   wishing
                   for a change.

Welcome, sun.
Your affable light assures me.
Finally growing unafraid to bask,
Confident in these new rays.

The warmth,
                   caressing hands on my face.
The light,
                   gently running its' fingers through my hair.

You awakened me and I woke up smiling.

Scattered

I left the house for the day
Scattering
Before you came to pack up

Our lives shattering
As you took your things. Our things. Out. Of the house.
Our home.
Scattered.

I couldn't even see you.

Out for the day
pretending
to play with friends.
And once I got the all clear, slipped back in
Pretending it was the same but knowing nothing ever ever would be.

I watched TV.
And
Eventually
Made my way into the bedroom...
Against the pillow, a huge bouquet and an I'm sorry dear Jane...?

Please. No.
Refrain.
You do not get to say I'm sorry.
You do not get to say I'm sorry.

Just run away and never stop
Run away and never stop
Scattering.

why

I wanna just ask you why
I just wanna ask you

why pretend
why make those waves
make those looks
hold me?

I just wanna ask you
why?

if the plan is to walk away
then walk
why step on me as you go
I am not even on your way
I was just a way
and now I just wanna ask you
why
you went away
before I could push you

Do you love?

"Someone once said that the moment you stop to think about whether you love someone, you've already stopped loving that person forever."

- "Julian Carax"
Shadow of the Wind

want

When I want to I hold your hand
When I want to I don’t look away
When I want to I tell you
That I want you

How Could You

Oh look... a little scrap of paper with lyrics on them!
I had written them while taking a Greyhound bus back from NYC to Boston in 2006.

It's 2010. Why not just put those to a lil music... ? Not my best work but here goes...

bar song

The first verse, a conversation bursting out from damp lips
in the chatter of the bar
lost in the tune
your laughter
and I
gladly humming and hanging on your every word

Then the chorus
So intoxicating I can’t stop playing it over and over
in my mind
Like when your hand stayed
strayed
an extra moment on mine

The bridge always stings
damn chord progressions reminding me
that reality
is never ever what you want it
to be

And finally...

another verse
sooth and warming like the first
time
as I’m drawn into your melody
and you make me laugh
and I sing along
so sure
this song
is playing for me

until

the final chord fades
and you let go
you let me go


you always let me go



But you and I both know
I’ll just keep pressing repeat...

let me go

Intoxicating gaze
Unlock your fingers from mine
let me walk away

tippy toes

Hand reaching out
clasped gentle but firm
to pull me in
by the back of my neck

body follows

Me on tippy toes

like a gal in pigtails.
longing
Just.... for that.





My lips
finally touched.

mine to his

and in the days that followed
only
this ocean
so vast and salty

she breaks

He gives
she takes
he takes
she breaks