Emerged / Caged

Just when I thought you were vanished. A whisper. A cloud.
You appear.

Cheeks aglow.
Smiling.
Happy.
On a hike
with a ring
in a box.
Innocent new girl by your side.
Something to feed on.
You - Revived.

Alive.

In my head, always dead. Or a monster. Partly caged.
And that poor girl, smile like a song.
Not realizing her sentence.
Monsters roam free. But not long for she.

Still Here

You were gone.

You died. 

You were gone and died the day we cried and said goodbye

And then right there

I swear
A pair 

of your pants
Reappears
Like you are still here
Still here?

My greatest fears
revived
But how
could you be alive?

In my chest, little drummers
Beat inside

How did you get here
I made myself clear
You are dead
You died
Only I survived
What you left behind

dead to me

Sometimes I feel like you died
you died and left me

in such sadness
and silence
i'm left with painted memories
and where you went wrong
and where i let you go wrong
and how i didn't help
you were sick
you were so sick
but forever by my side

and then

the black dress is put away
the veil gone
the eyes wiped dry
and i sort through the mail
and there i find it

one lie
in a tiny box
plain as day

no...

but you were sick,
it was just a small fib
you still loved so good
you loved me most
and held me up
you couldn't be responsible...
you were weak
i still loved you

until
i open the drawer
another lie
how did i miss that when i packed my bags
has that always been there?

i go to the bank
a lie you left behind
in the glove compartment
another lie

lie
upon lie
upon lie until
i can't hold my
head above and i am drowning

in anger
and red red rage
how could you?
WHO ARE YOU?
And did you really die?
i never said goodbye
did you really die?
did you just never really live
or really love